Luke's Online Goodie Bag

Back from the grave.

2009-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Decided regrettably to start blogging again since I now have a computer where programs other than World of Warcraft run on.
I can't be fucked to post what has happened in life between this post an the one beforehand, so I'll just start from today.
First day back to college after the Christmas disappointment. I was feeling optimistic about seeing all my 'friends' again, so this wasn't too much of a drag. Snoozed on the bus - hell - the journey didn't even seem that bad. While feverishly rubbing myself to try and ward off the frostbite, and at the same time being accused of masturbating, I tilted my head down into the winter's chill and embraced the day ahead. First lesson slid by like I had never been away, apart from the constant reminders of upcoming exams, coursework deadlines etc. Neither of which I have done any work for. Second was a free which I spent in the 'company' of Big A, nervously glancing at each clock as we stroll the halls, baying for the release of an hour chime. Next comes photography where I convinced myself it was time to knuckle down, and really catch up on the work I hadn't done over Christmas. All I managed to achieve was a broken film, and a lost lens cap. I hurried downstairs like a child trying to catch Santa, and bathed in the scent of Gingergirl for a few minutes. She humped a radiator, and threw an apple about the place, it was imba. I delivered my promised skittles and left, as she had a lecture. Bore down on double English which I spent the majority of which 'cleverly' positioning my arm around my head so the lecturers couldn't see I was sleeping.
Bus home with Crazy Josh.

Men's Pants

2008-10-13T14:04:00.001-07:00

I am getting LAZIER and LAZIER at blogging sir.

Friday : Me + Liam + Hugo + some Germans + Vodka = Lol
Saturday : A dirty day with Elliot King
Sunday: A fun day riding with Tom jebbet in PZ and Todger

Oh my cunting god, bullet points, its only a matter of time before I stop blogging all together.

~~Pick it up man~~

Runter

2008-10-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

I awake in a pool of my own sweat, and proceed to shower. Same old, same cunting old. Step onto the 988 with a grey scale look upon life. Phase in and out of consciousness in the sticky, sticky bus journey that doesn't drag out nearly enough, before stepping into the cold, but somehow unfreshening college campus. The day hits me like a train hits a kitten. I blither between lessons, with nothing of real interest actually occurring, apart from a quick beat-box session at lunch.
Roll onto the bus home, and head out for a mediocre skate. The highlight I find was bumping into Crazy Josh and his gouf in town, where I received my first hug in many days.

New week, New shoes, New face

2008-10-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Hello there, my face fell off.

On a more serious note, about a week ago I was prescribed a new medication for my acne, and after the use of it for a few days, my face began to literally fall off.
Irrelevantly, Hugo has moved into the abode, so gets to enjoy the constant arguing of Mother and Ape. Old Supras finally hit the bricks, so I decided to take Adios out for a spin, and a few days painful backwardness in skateboarding followed. Still not 100%, but I'll get there. College has been monstrous. I've had an exam in history, constant stream of homework in my Englishes, and even more so in Photography.
On the up side, EMA finally has shuffled itself meekly through my letterbox, so within a week I guess I should actually have my long awaited back-payment.

Fucking Lazy.

Research

2008-10-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

Pros and Cons of having a small penis

Pros

Less of a target for pain.
Hide erections easily.
Can cover self with one hand while in communal shower.
Does not get in the way when playing sports.
Less likely to get your penis out while drunk, and try and windmill it.

Cons

Friends mocking.
Girl mocking.
Can't play fun games such as 'Soggy biscuit'.
Can't get groped by a stranger on the bus etc. because she will gasp with shock/horror/disgust and announce to the other passengers; "Oh god, oh my god, ROFL LMAO this kid has a tiny, tiny, tiny penis, it's like a cunting peanut."

One more advantage I would say sir.

Braindance

2008-10-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

I shake my frail frame into existence and shower. Eat a teacake, which I notice is actually a pleasant treat for my taste-buds, as opposed to the usual cornflake horrors that welcome me in the morning. Sleepily make my way to the bus stop with Hugo and stand there, swaying, until the bus arrives. Clamber aboard, and spent the journey flittering in between reality and a dream-world. Tilt my head down, close my eyes, and charge for History, first period. I write about 6 pages before leaving the classroom, in a state which could accurately be described as shock. Willfully get right back on the 88 home, in plenty of time for my Doctors appointment, or so I thought.
A grinding hour and forty minutes later, and I am sprinting towards the Surgery, tongue lolling out my mouth like a Labrador, with the eyes of a madman. I receive nothing but a suppressed chuckle from the receptionist as I pronounce the Doctors, and finally my own name, wrong. Dr. Georgilin increases the dosage of my ineffective acne anti-biotics and tells me to 'stick in there'. I tell him, in my mind of course, to stick himself in his own cunting premature grave the poncy tosser.
Make a grueling journey back to college to arrive late to photography, which I fail to lift a muscle to do any work. Nick looks, at first I think disappointed, but then I realise it's disgust.
"Why are you so late Luke?"
"I HAD DOCTARS OR SUMINT"
Round off the day by going down to olde Falmouth town, in hope to take pictures with newly-rented-straight-out-the-cunting-cereal-packet camera, come back empty pocketed, and, unsurprisingly, praying, as I do every night, for the reaper's grasp.

InternetLife

2008-09-30T12:34:00.001-07:00

Couple of events:

Internet failing to work
End of relationship
Rain so can't skate

All in all, pretty fun. I have developed a new state of mind, where I drift through the halls, in the style of a log in a stream, except this stream is made from the broken dreams and forgotten hopes of my peers.

Currently playing 'Fit but you know it', and about to chow down a Beef Dinner, from Spar.

~~Cunting hell~~

Sloth-like.

2008-09-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Been really busy.
And by busy I mean lethargic.

Here's a really fast puzzle me and Elliot just did, two minutes ago, it's still hot on touch from adrenaline burns.
I'll be the first one to admit my hands are shaking.

(Click to Supersize)

The Big Two Days.

2008-09-21T02:28:00.000-07:00

'The Big BBQ' (Click to supersize)

I'm not even going to shock you with the horrors of Friday night, but lets just say it involved Elliot.
That said, we awake Saturday morning looking similar to a pair of hideous slugs, that have been dropped in a vat of salt. Before long Elliot boards the 88, which arrived late. At this point I had no idea what the next 19 hours had in store for me.
However, I meet Hugo and Josh after a lengthily wait at home, and he proudly announces we are getting a lift to stithians skate park. We walk into an abode that I can only describe as a slum, apparently to others it is 'student housing'. We embraced the stench and greeted various scary, if not burly, looking men. Before long we are loping towards transport, with the alpha-male at the wheel, who has a taste for Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I fear at this point that I would pass out at any moment, after indulging in 'The Big BBQ' as a morning wake up. Of course, only now I realise that it does the opposite of setting you up for the day, it drives you into the grit.
The man-wagon pulls up at ASDA and we pick up cheesey bread and Lucozade. The car journey to stithians was riddled with awkward and catatonic silences, but we avoided these whenever we could, by making small talk about said bread/Lucozade.
"This Lucozade tastes alright"
"...."
"Not so sure about this bread though"
"...."

We arrive at stithians, and the sun beats down on us like an oppressive disclaimer. Hugo smelt like a cunting warthog, and my fringe was acting as a mop for my forehead. Except not only a mop, but a faulty one, which becomes drenched and stagnant after a few minutes.
The park was good, all round. It was refreshing to actually ride on concrete smoother than the rocky surfaces of Falmouth for once. We skate consistently for a few hours, then we roar off in the direction of Mabe skate park. Our driver, who's name is still unknown to me, tilts his head back, and makes a bleating noise like Chewbakka as he presses down on the accelerator. Hugo and I exchange nervous glances, and hug our seat belts tighter.
We arrive at Mabe skate park, and ride for a bit. I feel that the men really let themselves go at this point, as they had resorted to hurling racist slurs at the darker member of the group. After a while Chubakka drove us back to Falmouth, whilst demanding petrol money. Out of pure fear, Hugo parted with his well needed cash, and we left, for greater things.

Except no, no, not greater things, but a night full of an inconceivable, slug-like, performance.
No sooner had we rumbled up to Hugo's front door, we are being invited over to Will's, and lets face it, we both new at this point that we had a rough and rocky night ahead of us. Hugo and I, in the style of a log down a hill, roll into the kitchen, which is full of 2nd years. I desperately try and make stilted, shambling conversation with anyone who will respond to me, with little luck. Low and behold, we mount the pavement in the direction of town with the group of people we don't know. Soon enough, the rabble arrive at the Chain Locker, where drinks are brought all round. I had a pint of Magners, courtesy of James, and Hugo a Fosters with dash of lime. With its refreshing, zingy taste on my lips, the others and I pick up a balti curry and head back to the shack. On the way, I thrust my wallet in James's face, and he returns from Tescos with 4 litres of Strongbow.
Hugo was spam inviting everyone in his phonebook around this time, and no other came lolloping through the thick fog but Sorcha. We settle in the kitchen, and the conversations steadily become less stilted.
4 litres of cider later, and me and Hugo are gallivanting round, trying to set fire to a spider in Will's porch. This involves striking a match, and hurling it in the general direction of the roof, before bursting into a fit of childish laughter. I won't bore you with the details of the time we spent in Will's house, but it wasn't long before Hugo, Sorcha and I were sliding through the streets in search of her house. She leaves us with a parting gift of a few slices of dirty bread, and a forceful smack round the back of the head. Nice to see her mature, older sister, roar up in a car, and, at the sight of us, gag.
With heavy hopes of meeting Josh Evans in town on our mind, we set off, in a journey that can only be described as dangerous. And oh, my cunting ass Josh Evans when he is drunk is a sight to bestow upon. We are surrounded, in the heaving streets, by alcoholics, and desperate forty year-olds. Both of which Josh had a fair crack at trying to sleep with. We duck into a nearby Kebab shop, and sit down next to two people I have never seen before in my life. And by the looks in their eyes, I don't think they ever want to see our sorry faces again. Josh has a jab at them, then we join the queue. I order large chips, and sit down at new found table, spilling the contents of my chip box onto the floor, leaving us all giggling like little girls. Still chuckling, and hiding under our arms like primary school children, we start to throw chips at members of the queue, before being warned by the bouncers to;
"Stop it mate, or you're out"
*high-pitched squeal* "Oh yes, sorry sir!"
*girlish laughter*
But, sure enough, we leave, and mingle, like beaten dogs, outside of Remedies. And oh, my God, there were a lot of commas in that last sentence. We meet a man named Liam, who is the manager of The Shake Shop, and he promises us that he will give us discounts at a later date. I notice cool guy that works in Top Man too, and stand directly in front of him, pointing and whispering. The crowd disperses, and Josh bumps into someone he supposedly knows, who claims there is a party above Costa that is 'kicking off'. Our heads do a 360 degrees turn whilst the rest of our bodies stay static in the street, willing to go home. We push our way into the flat above Costa, and instantly are greeted by lanky skater guy from maritine spot. He makes a joke about a hobo, and falls down the stairs, unconscious. I walk to each room in turn, each one thick with a layer of bile. I find a spot to sit down near the kitchen and am asked by a man, wearing a top-hat, to open my mouth. I do as I am told, and they take it in turns to try and throw pineapple down my gullet. I wait there eagerly, like a hungry seal. My eyes widen in panic as I see Josh opening his wallet. He roars back at me, asking if I would like a bottle o' ass, which I decline with horror. Hugo wasn't so wise, and he and Josh neck back one each, as I watch on in a mixture of disgust and fear. Luckily, they suffered no effects of the pill, as it was probably just a worm tablet or something. Things quiet down at about 3:34am, and we head for the exits, as we do so I grab a jumper I found on the banister, and pull it over my head. Josh drags a surfboard that was on the landing halfway down the stairs and leaves it there upon exit. We manage to get halfway up the hill to Hugo's before collapsing in a comatose state in the road. I drift off, not unlike a homeless man, on the street. I awake, unfortunately, and am dragged to my feet. We shuffle in the direction of Hugo's house, a journey which took us over an hour, when it should have taken us a couple of minutes. Scratch at Hugo's front door, and collapse on the icy, bone crunching, laminate flooring. Pass out at roughly 5:03am.
Wake, bleary eyed, yet not hungover, at 8:09am. Collect hat from Will's house and recount night's story to him. Leave for my house and shower.

Blog at approximately 11:44am.

Goodbye.

2008-09-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

Crammed onto bus as usual and head for college.
I find it hard to keep my eyes open for the first half of the day, or the last.
Crammed into bus and carted to Falmouth.

Jog home, whack on glasses, hat, and Supras. Head out and meet Hugo and Ben, Josh Ev has already headed down maritine. I could feel the static in the air at the anticipation of a good, dry, skate. At about 6:40 we were on the rocky road downtown, a nervous sweat breaking out on my forehead, due to the presence of Ben.
Surprisingly, awkwardness subsided, and we skated well. I noticed that there was a plentiful supply of skaters coming and going at the spot, none of which really had much talent, until the arrival of a man we will later know as Dave. He was poppin' really nice lines and encouraging and helping us out. It was neato. Hugo was working on getting 360 'shuv's down, and I landed my first couple of heelflips down the two-stair for a long time. Pop shuv-its were flowing pretty nice too. Shortly after darkness fell, we headed back to our abodes, and ate.

Noice.

(Y)

2008-09-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty.
Wake at 7:51am, dreary but optimistic. Shower, and watch a few chapters of Big Push '08. Head out onto the street with Hugo for a quick skate.
It wasn't bad, all things considered, we performed on par, and eventually it was time for me to go and meet Scorch. I say eventually, I mean I was begging for the reaper's oily clutches the moment I stepped on the skateboard. That aside, I meet Scorch, after arriving 5 minutes late. On the way to town, we are stopped by a peculiar girl, named Tor. She and Scorch traded quite conversation for a while whilst I stood there looking not unlike a beaten piece of fruit. Note: Tor was not wearing any shoes.
After that surreal encounter, the crew headed down into town, and withdrew cash from consecutive cash machines. I think we all knew at this point that the money would be spent on nothing useful, or constructive. After glancing at a few over-priced items of clothing, we decided to stop for a milkshake. Or, I guess it would be more accurate to call them, "Fucking-floor-tasting-bile-broths"
However, after paying two-pounds fifty on each 'shake', we felt it necessary to finish them. Clutching our bowels and praying for our earthy graves, **we decided to attempt to "walk it off" by strolling, (at a steady pace mind) back along the main street in Falmouth. We paused outside Subway for a good couple of minutes, scared to enter the gloomy and oh so humid shack that they call a resturant... however we finally ventured inside because the taste in our mouths was just too much to bear. A taste might I add, that can only be described as that of a monstrous reconstruction of the famous "Big BBQ Meat Feast". However once inside I think the smells started to have an effect on us and we soon relaxed. In that moment we created the best dame game know to mankind.

"Drenchwars" : Drenchwars is a simple game, it involves two players, each with consecutive bottle of 'Drench' spring water. Take the two competitors and place on ever so slippery counter in Subways. Watch as, not unlike children, they proceed to smash the two bottles together until one of them hits the floor, with an anti-climaxing thud.

An hour of disappointment later, and it was time for Scorch to leave. I think I heard her groan as she entered her house, out of sheer regret for the decision she'd made to meet me.
That aside, I met Hugo at Spar shortly afterwards, and we walked, quick-paced, to mine. After collecting my skate and changing shoes, we headed off down maritime, where we proceed to out show 5 or 6 twats that were pretending to skate there.
The next 4 hours I can only describe as bliss. We skated the best we have done in years, if not ever. Hugo finally landed a 360 Pop shuv-it, so big gratz there. We sandwiched* it straight for hours, poppin' off big heels, and touching up some under 7's whilst we roll.

Head back to mine, pick up some potato wedges on the way.
Life is fun.

*Too frightened to use such terms as 'trashed' 'ripped' 'shredded' etc.

**Edit. Scorch.

Lazy bloggin'

2008-09-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

I'm in the company of, as in so many days of my life, Hugo "Dick" Jones. Last night and today were as far as I'm concerned, a success. I have no excuse for my failure to blog over the last couple of days, unless you counting crippling laziness as a valid excuse. It was my sister's University leaving meal last night, and my 'family' along with Josh's, shunted ourselves down to Da vincis for some Italian style salmonella. We sat, ate, and made awkward conversation over the three hours we were in there, and soon enough we were waddling, because of severe stomach cramps, for the exits.
Amy and I bore down on a evening filled with '40 days and 40 nights', on repeat no less, as we took it in turns to take trips to the bathroom and vomit. At about 1:00 we collapsed in what can only be described as a messy heap on the floor, and awoke there the next morning, with a tasty combination on morning breath and broken hearts.
Do my discrete distaste, I was forced to ride with Amy to Truro, and we spend the day moping around like a pair of robotic, life size, nightmarish dolls. I was further impressed to see my bus pass was not valid on weekends and I had to fork out a further three-pounds eighty to get home. In a trip which I spent the majority of in a comatose state.
Upon arriving home, the phone rings, and, unsurprisingly, it was Hugo. I chow down some uncooked pork chops and head out, and skate consistently well for my standards, which are low. After about two hours, we return covered in a mixture of perspiration, bile, and baby food.

Thrill of the day: Scorch signing onto Msn.

Wednesday.

2008-09-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

7:46, I proudly, nay, foolishly arrive at Kiligrew street bus stop fifteen minutes early, sporting shorts. This as a start suggested that the rest of the day could only get worse.
Upon boarding the bus, my hopes for the end of the world were running high, and I noticed many of my fellow passengers were looking equally as anxious.
As 8:30 reared its ugly head, unfortunately so did a distinct lack of death. I wasn't the only one sighing, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one not sighing with relief.
The bus arrived at college at about 9:04, and I scuffled off to my first lecture, History. This pretty much resulted in me being verbally bitch-slapped for an hour, before exiting the classroom, in a state close to shock.
IT dragged its behind into view next, and this time I decide to attend, only to be pushed away as I arrive. This left a couple of hours of free time, of course I say free, but it was probably about the same status change from being a Russian serf, to becoming a peasant. After sitting alone for about 4 minutes I bump into Ben Speirs, and, grasping a'hold of his slippery hand, am pulled off to meet; Raz, Morgan, Chris, Hayley, Sid and some guy with drawn on facial hair.
Before long I am swindled out of all of my loose change as they take their consecutive journeys to various vending machines.
Out of pocket, out of mind, and out of friends, I wander off to try and find Amy, with little luck.
I navigate myself to Kenwyn Library, to find her working busily on a computer, I receive less than a second glance upon entering. The next hour or so trawls past like a giant African snail race towards the proverbial piece of lettuce that is my Photography lecture.
A gruesome 2 hours doing next to nothing and its about time I push out into the harsh rain of Cornwall, searching for a bus to Falmouth. Luckily I am guided onto one by Sorcha, and spend the long ride home in relative comfort.

Puzzles

2008-09-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

(Click to Supersize)

Don't mess with the best yeah?

Bus.

2008-09-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today I experienced my first living nightmare.
Now I'm not talking, "Oh my God that lecture was a nightmare",
I'm talking, clammy, dribbling, fear riddled frightmares. You may or may not be unlucky enough to catch a bus to and fro' the college. If you are yet to hand in the cheque I urge you, please, for the love of all that is holy, put it in your screaming gullet and choke on it.
Because that ladies and gentlemen, is a far, far more pleasant way to end your life, then riding in what can only be described as a deathcan.
Imagine this, if you will.

6 Deathcans, revving in unison, engine fumes killing off the weak, early, no bullshit.
4000 students, eager, hungry, desperate for transport.
A narrow exit from the Death-bay, and no sense of authority.

After a lengthily, and often dangerous stretch of time, your Deathcan hits the road. Literally. Now, close your eyes and drift back to the cargo trains of which Jews were transported to death camps. The sweat, the suffocation, the desperation for water. The sense of panic, also.
Welcome to Deathcan, One stop to the steely embrace of a road accident.

If you managed to survive the journey, then you have the leisure of eight more hours of your life.

Before the next trial. Enjoy.

Skate, Lucozade Lemon, and Sun.

2008-09-06T12:53:00.001-07:00

Awake at 9:19am, and roll out of bed. Slither to shower and wince as the grease is ripped from the tatters of flesh that is supposedly my face.
Twenty painful minutes later, and I've bravely equipped my baggy jeans, with the attitude of someone who prays for death. I notice that is is actually sunny for once, and before long Hugo has managed to get his lazy ass back to Falmouth and we hit the streets, not dislike the fashion of two men that are going over the top of the trenches and into no mans land. We stop at Spar and Hugo buys us each a Lucozade Lemon, which wasn't as bad as it looked or sounds.
Blast ahead an hour or two, and we're back on my street, working on lines and not being too awful. We notice a boy, of about 12, skate past in Nike SBs and skinny jeans. To our bemusement, he entered the house a few doors down from mine, and before long me and Hugo were nervously getting ready to press the doorbell, not unlike two children on their first date.
Against all odds, the boy, who announces his name as Mikey, comes outside to greet us. After some bitter skating, he packs his things and takes his leave down the road. Me and Hugo shrug, and wonder why we asked him to come out anyway.
Enter the house and turn on computer.

Game Over.

I love Amy

Zomg.

2008-09-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

(Click to supersize)

Saturday.

2008-09-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

Awake to my ever increasing horror at Elliot's. Promptly decide not to wash and head up to Sainsburys to give Jess a piece of cake.
Soon after we find ourselves heading back down the hill with an 'Isotonic Ass' drink in each of our grubby paws, much to our distaste. Upon our frightful decision to travel to Falmouth by bus, we are greeted, after a draining wait, with a salivating hag at the wheel.
"Hey, erm how much is it to Falmouth?"
"Your on the wrong side of the street."
"Oh, can we not get on here?"
"~~Fuck off"~~
Proceed to cross the road and wait further. After a crippling thirty minutes, the speeding bus veers dangerously into view, along with the hag, dribbling like a bulldog on heat.
A sloppy hour journey to Falmouth later, an the greasy pair find themselves in Subway, desperate for nutrients. Nutrients; and friends, neither of which they will be getting anytime soon may I add.
Like a toddler, Elliot is left floundering with his card as he is told that the price is too low for it to be used. As he watched on with wild eyes, wild with fear, the woman suggested that he pay for mine too.
I don't think either of us could suppress the gags for long, and within ten minutes we had left, unsatisfied.
As I tore out seventy pounds from my account, I could almost hear the groans from the machine as in wained under the pressure of such a hefty withdrawal. A few minutes later and I'd left with my brand new, all singing, all dancing, shiny gold high-tops. I'm thoroughly impressed with them, and have posted a picture up for y'all.
I waved Elliot goodbye as he boarded another bus back to Truro, and the nights of two boys alone truly set in, hopefully with the result of death for one or more of them.

Friday

2008-09-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, after a dreary wait, that brought many of us close to tears, Elliot blogged today. It was, and I stress, a classic.
So brilliant, that even with 'The Streets' blaring in my fragile ears, my mind is blank of Literacy. I blame having two hours of lectures on it a day. Pour example I sat next to a boy today who had forgotten how to spell 'movie', and the spelling of 'recommend' turned into a heated class debate.

Basically;

ME ISH TIRED ANNI WANNA GO 2 BED, ERE ARE SUM QUOTES FROM EJ'S BLOG, INSTED.

"although on reflection this is probably quite a distance, due to my scrawny build, and lack of muscle tone."

"and we walk round and round in circles as if lost; when in fact, we are just lost for words, lost for words as to how stupendously, head-achingly bored we are"

"Doug does not seem impressed. He seems, unsurprisingly, close to vomiting."

And to round it all off;

Scarface. - says:
I'm just going to copy and paste parts of your blog into mine
Elliiot (y ) says:
lolol
Scarface. - says:
Im being serious

And I think I proved to everyone, that I was deadly, mournfully, serious.

At least someone does.

2008-09-05T11:31:00.001-07:00

- jess b a i l e y says:
you know i love you

New day, New friends.

2008-09-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

Brief overview of the day;

Maths: Ludicrously easy, not unlike learning to read again.
Tutor: Visit to the library.
English Literature: Arrived late and flustered, pleased to see someone else standing at the foot of the door, unseated. This person turns out to be Emma, who lives in Falmouth. I latched to her as a friend as a dog to it's favourite toy. I don't think the results were impressive.
English Language: See Matt Law standing cheeky outside the room, a malicious grin on his chops. Had the same teacher as Literacy, who has a cleft pallet.
End of day.

What not to do while bored.

2008-09-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

At roughly 9:14 pm, I decided to highlight every spelling and punctuation mistake on my girlfriend's Bebo page. (Click to supersize.)

Upon re-editing, I found I missed one, but there is so many, it would be inconceivable to find them all.

Chris Crocker Discussion.

2008-09-03T12:08:00.001-07:00

.................................................

Amber. says:

tell me you've heard of chris crocker

Scarface. - College wasn't bad. says:

yes he's a fucking twat

Scarface. - College wasn't bad. says:

he/she

Amber. says:

i know but i find him so funny

Scarface. - College wasn't bad. says:

Thats because YOUR a twat

....................................

Aphex.

2008-09-03T11:56:00.001-07:00

Why not to get into AFX

(Click to supersize.)

College Round 2.

2008-09-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

Outlook for College: Bright, with lonely spells.

Rest of the week's forecast: A chance for some Maths, and lack of friends, but other than that loneliness will stay at bay, and friends shine through.

To my amusement I had a conversation with a guy from spain, who looked almost identical to Hugo Jones. Four people from my form go to Falmouth, and I talked to one called Josh who seemed friendly. Hopefully I won't find a horses head under my pillow.

In other news, one of the Falmouthtarians IS FROM IRELAND, and she's a bit like Omgmhazzrocks, so I'm instantly rendered unconscious whenever I hear her speak.

(Y)

Google Chrome.

2008-09-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to keeping up to date with Elliot's blog, I have landed myself with Google Chrome.

Yeah I thought FF sucked ok.

Here comes the College.

2008-09-02T04:12:00.000-07:00

I won't deny that my hopes were high as I trudged up towards Truro College with no other than the famous Hanner-Claire from Myspace, I mean, I wasn't even breaking a sweat. But as the last 200 metres bore down on us like death row, a tickling nausea, partnered with a nervous, hysterical giggling shuffled into the limelight.
Upon arrival, Hanner was beckoned over by a boy with more metal than face, who joined us up to the induction. Not unlike a scene from 'Shindler's List', we were filed and separated, to find our names on a wall. Once said name was found, we're asked to remember a persons name, who, until a late point in the day, I presumed was the name of my executioner.
Eventually we all packed into a great hall, like a modern version of Harry Potter's. An old man spoke into a loud-speaker, sending many of the halls occupants into a fitful sleep. At this point, things were looking up. I was surrounded by at least ten people I knew, a few of which had the same executioner as me.
But no, this was soon to be revealed as false hope, as I looked on in horror as dregs of the room were taken out in smaller groups. As I met my executioner, I noticed there was still three people I knew in the smaller group, and, being the dick I am, I thought we were safe.

HELL
NO

Sat in a cold, lifeless room, introduced to executioner, who I now find out is a PTL or something. Fill out a test, which I can only presume is used to see if any retards have slipped through the net and onto the course. ~~SHIT~~ As our allotted time continued into the final quarter, I casually glance at the clock, cocky, smug, content. We received our timetables and were separated further, and, as the colour drained from my face, I came to terms with the fact that I knew no one in said group. A group which consisted of;

2 Man-like, tanned, fresh, muscular boys.
An attractive girl named Sunny.
And another girl.

I shuffled around in a near comatose state, mostly out of shock, as we collected ID cards and ended the tour. As I rocked of my heels and dripped with a clammy, rather noticable, cold sweat, I notice Ben speirs and run to him, not unlike a dog runs to it's master. End of induction.

Anyway,

Wednesday should be fookin' shite.

Decay.

2008-08-31T14:18:00.000-07:00

I spent a good 10 minutes in a public toilet today. And I can safely say, that it has been the thrill of my holiday.

On a serious note, I found myself left stranded in the filthy gutters of Truro today, waiting for a train which, well, I won't skivvy around the fact that it wasn't going to arrive.
Later, in Falmouth, I get my lazy ass out of the house for a skate with the lads. It was hot and, like children, we had failed to save money for drinks, instead swaddling what little pennies we had on chocolate fudge brownie milkshake. Our manhood(s) took a beating as a much better, more professional skater turned up at 'our spot' and put us all to shame like the rodents we are.
Later, Josh rings me up all like ;
"Luke want to go for a skate?"
"We went out like an hour ago for ages"
"I'm in Boslovik"
"*Deep breath* I'll be out in a minute"

After nearly breaking my ankle and some of the worst skating I have ever witnessed I returned home, not unlike a child that has been beaten for stealing.

Amy.

2008-08-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

Amy is Pretty.

Saturday.

2008-08-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

Wake at 11, Eat Doritos and meet Amy in town. Finally give her long awaited dress, much to her disappointment. Me Becks, Jake and Amy are having a crazy night in at Amy's as her parents are off to see Lee Evans. In other news, I missed Charlie live yesterday, /cry.
Even as I type, I can hear Amy and Jake roaring in the kitchen, like a pair of deranged, maddened, jackels wrenched up from Hades gates by Satan himself, clawing onto the only shred of dignity I have left and dissemboweling it across the kitchen floor in what can only be described as a mantra of laughter.

Anyway, tonight should be Tres fun.

Picture books arn't for kids.

2008-08-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

A Grease Bro's Tour of Truro.

Panasonic DMC - FS5 / Lumix

2008-08-27T05:43:00.001-07:00

Yes I don't have another camera to take a picture of this one so you only get the front.

Observances

Sleek, pleasant design.
Switches and buttons on the camera are sharp, and crisp, not unlike treading on frozen leaves.
Masses of different intelligant [auto] options for shot taking, including such favorites as; Baby, Food, Party, Candle Light, Pet, etc.
Brisk and responsive button-to-screen control.
Nice an' Large LCD Screen that covers 7/9ths of the back.

Wednesday.

2008-08-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

After the exitement from last night, I was further pleased to be awakened by a large package being thrown on top of me. This was my new Digital camera Daddy sent to me, but he must have been on smack at the time, because he sent me 100 pounds too. Hugo's off to the cinema today, so lack of skating which smells like poo, but on the upside, Amy's coming round.

Omgmhazzrocks speaks out!

2008-08-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

Omgmhazzrocks Live!

2008-08-26T15:33:00.000-07:00

I love life because I got to see Mhazz live and I got in the main room and say such things as 'MARRY ME' and 'I LOVE YOU' to her which was cool. She played some songs and looked cute as usual. (Y)
Click to supersize

Charlieissocoollike live!

2008-08-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

I recently got the joy of being in the right place for the right time, and ended up watching Charlie Live! It was so awsome, so awsome, that I print screened.
Click to Supersize.

Thanks Myspace.

2008-08-25T09:06:00.001-07:00

Click to Supersize

Elliot

2008-08-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

I miss Elliot loads.
Anywho, Hopefully long awaited round 2 of Ankles tomorrow, but we'll see how it pans out.

<3

2008-08-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in love;

http://www.youtube.com/user/omgmhazzrocks

Slighty Good Lifestyle?!?!?!

2008-08-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last few days pro dominantly skating, seeing Amy, and sleeping.

~~GOOD BY ME~~

Booked it, Packed it, F*cked off.

2008-08-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

And like a rock climber, hanging off a sheer drop with only has fingertips locked in a death grip in a crevice, I used wit, and charm to swing my way up and into my course at Truro college. Relief, dismay, and excitment are a few of the words to describe how I feel now. Like being stuck underwater for 7 weeks, then finally comeing up for air.
Hope everyone else was pleased with their results too.

x

Wakey Wakey, Rise and Fail.

2008-08-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

The day of reckoning has finally reared its gruesome head. GCSE results today, In less than 2.5 hours, and no amount of preparation could have ensured a free ticket past the raw, itching fear that creeps all over my body like cockroaches.

~~Fuck it.~~

Lazy boys.

2008-08-20T07:14:00.001-07:00

It is, as on so many days of my life, raining.
I'm without company, and I can't be arsed to play Warcraft because it's boring.
I guess I should make the title of this 'Lazy Boy' instead.

Because I'm Alone.
Unsurprisingly

In unrelated events, my monthy Document Magazine showed up, sporting another free DVD, Big push '08 Skate tour.
I haven't finished watching it yet, because I thought I would ration it out over the glummest of days.

Milky Ryan's Birthday.

2008-08-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

A day or so ago, I found myself in Truro, surrounded by Liam, Hugo and Sam. We had decided to, somewhat brashly, stay at Ben's that evening, and oh what fun that turned out to be. Imagine, if you will, a meter square sized room. Place in said room, 1 Bed, 1 desk, 1 computer, 1 Electronic Keyboard, 4 Greasy Boys. I think its fair to say that sleeping arrangements were cramped, uncomfortable, and homosexual. Any hope for a pleasent sleep were soon shattered as an unidentified crusty object was discovered on one of the duvets. Snatch two hours sleep, and Me Hugo and Sam start the three mile trek towards Perrenwell station. Unfed, soaking wet, and near death, we desperately seeked salvation. A short train journey later, and we arrived in the warm glow of Sam's house. Three ineffective showers later, and we split, Hugo going off on his own to beg for money off his mother. I tore another hefty ten pounds out the account and bought Ryan a Doctor Who card for his birthday. Promptly afterwards I waltzed into Barkley's bank and stole a free pen. Thats right, stole a free pen. Turn up at Ryan's, somewhat regrettably, only to be faced with nibbles and Warcraft. Play Warcraft till about four in the morning and fail to awake for half eight alarm. Fail dismally to get my act together today, and end up alone. Went for a nice skate on my street (alone) and felt a bit better about myself, that is until I smashed my shoulder in.

All said and done, I'm hungry.

Excuses.

2008-08-14T06:39:00.001-07:00

Sorry about not blogging frequentley but its because of this holiday and my wild, unfettered anguish of the up and smoking GCSE results. I seem to not be able to sit still, when i am forced to I bite my finger-tips down to the bone.
In other news, Hugo's baking emma a cake.
In today's weather, outlook looks sunny, but persons are to remain indoors and play Warcraft.

Smoothies.

2008-08-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

Thick, pockmarked, gritty, gravelly, peppery. Spicy.

Cinnamon Rush.

Your starter for ten, sir. One for the rookie, the sweet-toothed trooper.

1 Teaspoon cinnamon
1 pint instant-milk; from powder
1 old, bruised, battered banana, chopped
4 heaped tablespoons caster sugar.

Perhaps could be enjoyed on one of these cold, wet, summer mornings.

Black Death.

1 Old banana, bruised
Dash cinnamon
As much sugar as you see fit
3 Ice cubes
Milk
Handful sultanas.

Add a good tablespoon of ~~tar~~ black treacle once blended.

Blend. Note brown, muddy, viscous texture. Chewy, almost.
Watch out for the lump of tar hiding at the bottom of the glass, you wouldn't want that to get the better of you.
Not one for the intellectual, or under 12's.

Grubby Potato Freedom-Blaster Superior.

2 Potatoes, dirty as you can, chopped. Skins on.
Sugar.
Pinapple, 1 tin.
Anything else you can find on the floor; for example, toenails, dust, dog hair, etc., etc.

Should probably come served with a disclaimer. Dangerous, to say the least. You'd better be ready when this shit goes down.

Yum.

2008-08-08T04:40:00.001-07:00

Boredom is a wonderful thing. All through life you are wishing you have more time, yet when boredom hits, each minute drags on like a slow but steady marathon runner, never gaining pace. I am, like so many hours of my life, waiting for something. Only this time, and this is the kicker, I have nothing to wait for. Thus the wait will be a very long and stretchy period of time.

That's, yes sire, That's a LAAAAZZY manouver.

2008-08-04T14:06:00.001-07:00

After boarding a swift and degrading engine to Molten Ass Central, Three lonely boys, rolled up, in the style of a body in a carpet, in what can ONLY be described as a smog of decay. Thick and tangible as olde style pea soup grunters, that used to roam around old London town, accept this time, it's not pollution plaguing the streets, its the boy's armpits. People, scream and flee in horror, at the distasteful trio, encloaked in a thick gelotine of sweat. Although, they haven't participated any physical activity may I add, oh, oh no, they've been sitting static, on a train. Breathing as heavily as marathon runners, but no, they haven't done any exercise for as long as anyone can remember. They drop they're trousers and marched like some kind of perverted three man army, in no haste, may I add, back to the hovelous slum that pock marked Falmouth everday it bin built. The boy's glanced at a can of alcohol, instantly rendered unconsious, writhing, trouserless in the street like the pig's they are.

I don't think ouch covers it.

2008-07-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

Morning + Noon:
Crawl from coma at approximately 10:51am. Shuffle downstairs. Glance reproachfully into living room mirror. Supress gag, pull on baseball cap. Proceed to lapse into the murky depths of the narcotic cess pool that is your day.
Evening: Eat chicken, write blog.

That last drip of cold sweat.

2008-07-25T11:12:00.001-07:00

Blog's being a complete cock. Seeyou in 6 days.

Review time, with me, Luke Ot.

2008-07-19T10:32:00.001-07:00

After receiving a rather threatening email from Toad_hugger34@hotmail.com, demanding a review of my recently purchased 'Dr Kawashima's Brain Training', I decided to do just that.
Well, in a nutshell its; addictive, with little to no animation. In game you desperately seek the approval of Dr kawashima, presented as a floating head that guides you through various training programs and tests. After training, you have your first 'Brain Age Check'. WOAH. Slow down there cappen'. You stare open mouthed as it reveals your brain is 56 years old. Glance down at your hands, turn them over, examine your face in the mirror, I can't see any wrinkles. Maybe this Dr. Kawashima is just a mocking old fool, laughing in the dark to himself.

Anyway. As you proceed on the left hand screen is a calender, when you complete your first training of the day, you click a 'stamp' on it, that says, 'OK'. "Hohoho, you have your first stamp, for that, i'll unlock a new training program for you! hohoho" Erm, okay, a little eccentric, but thank you. This happens pretty much everytime you get a new stamp. The training programs are often fairly enjoyable, if not a little taxing. Calculations x100 made my hand ache and my head hurt. But then again I'm an illiterate gorrila. This game makes good use of the DS stylus, and an added bonus is you actually achieve something, apparently. According to this floating head, that constantley opens its mouth and announces, "I'm going to start crying here!", everytime you marginally improve your results, doing these exercises improves your brain power and memory etc.
We'll see. In conclusion, I would recommend this game to anyone who is feeling their grip on reality slip since they have left school. Me being one of these people. I mean, I couldn't remember how to spell half of the words here, so this Blog is probably going to be riddled with errors. ~~Fuck it~~ Oh well, I'll buy some book that will have exercises to improve my literature and keep spelling top notch. I don't know why I just told you that. This game really is, I don't want to say it but, 'Fun for All the Family' and I do the training everyday. "Well arn't you a trooper, comeing back here everyday!" Alright Doctor, we've established I don't have anything better to do, don't go on about it. That was my fantastic Game Review on, 'Dr Kawashima's Brain Training. (How old is your brain?)"

In other News.

2008-07-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have purchased a T-shirt with a large 'GAP' logo on the front.
Underneath is, in permenant marker, I've written, 'Gamer And Proud'.
Just thought I'd fill you in. I would upload a picture, but dad's internet is too ~~fuckin' shite~~ poor.

Cruncher.

2008-07-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Dismantled Dad's shed yesterday. Got scared of the horde of spiders, hungry for fresh meat to enter their 'cavern' aslo known as the shed. Biggest one the size of a small truck. Really, it was horrifiying. Anywho, the next day, today, I got new 'DESIGNER YEEEE' glasses. Set Dad back a tonne. And 'Brain academy' for DS, cool I thought.

Dail Up.

2008-07-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

My first whole day at the ol' man's house. Not eventful, but enjoyable. Dad got home from work at about 1 o'clock, I finished reading 'Silence of the Lambs' and convinced myself to 'man up' and not be scared of Ghosts. Don't ask. Anyway, was great weather here, but we didn't go out. Played guitar with Dad for large chunks of the day, and played a lil' xbox. Oh, and DS. Missing the lads back home, but life here is care free and fun.

x

Whats this? Eventful?!

2008-07-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

Yes imaginary viewers, I actually had an eventful day today! I'll be the first one to admit my hair was still greasy andI still had acne, but thats by the by. Anywho, the day started when I got arrived in Truro at approx 9:30 am, stoked about getting new board and wheels and shoes, I skip into the bank and withdraw 75 pounds.
And well, I got that stuff which was greeeaaat. Then Bolster rings me like, "I'M IN TRURO LIKE WID BOZZY" So I meet him and he's bought me a ticket to see 'Hancock' (12A) Starring Will Smith. We stumble into the darkened room; me, J0len, Bolster tom, and Nasty pasy 303, drunk on cheese. I'll be honest with you, I'm not a great fan of super hero movies, but this one had a little twist, (Hancock being a quirky dick) that made it worth watching. Of course as usual with movies these days CGI dominated, but not without amusement. I won't go on to spoil the movie for y'all, so yeah.

Seeya later.

Taking things to the next level.

2008-07-11T09:43:00.001-07:00

Those of you that are familiar with the popular game 'Earn it' will be pleased to announce my talents have increased to, 'Binned it'.
The target of the game is to do an ollie over the selected Earn/bin.

Difference in size.
Bin = Large Earn = Small

As you can see, there is quite a significant difference. You could probably fit 4 earns in one bin, if you really had the time/effort.
Hugo almost instantly completes the bin challenge, and earned (no pun intended) himself a big 'Gz'. Myself however, took alot longer, and produced a hell of a lot more sweat. Oh well, got there in the end, even if Hugo did go home before I completed it. Lol

.

2008-07-11T09:42:00.000-07:00

Blates my girlfriend that chose 'No' on the poll

Aight.

2008-07-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Bit o' discriptive writing there, just a lil' taster.
Anymaways, just thought I'd tell you a bit about mine and Amber's relationship. Well, she's got one of those crazy personalities I can't crack. I can't judge weather she hates me or not half the time, which makes me look even dickier (is that a word?) than usual. Also she's like the only person I know nowadays that I'm shy around, and she makes me uneasy and self-conscious. When I do get through to her though, she's Tres amuse, and I fancy her. Basically, I said I'd write something about her on my blog, so I have.
~~BE MY FRIEND YE~~

/ly

Cloud 9 Innit

2008-07-09T03:09:00.000-07:00

And they glanced, briefly, if only for a second, across the sea of people. And caught each others lazy gaze, and clutched tight to it, so tight they could crush it, but they'd never let it go because it meant, already, far to much to them. They could feel it.

Bored BoredBored Bored
Bored BoredBored Bored
Bored BoredBored Bored
Bored BoredBored Bored
Bored BoredBored Bored

Capital Punishment.

2008-07-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I stayed round Ratty Rolen's, much to ~~my stomach's distaste~~ my enjoyment. Me Bolster and Bozzy pretty much spent the evening gaming and gorging on Chinese food. Tom quaintly put as he received his meal, "I hope you get AID's and die".
A cheeky mumble to some, a connoisseurs choice to others. Anyway, we spent all morning trying to get Bolen an achievment on G.o.W, named 'Capital Punishment'. Well, I'll be the first to admit we did scream like little pig children when it finally did pop up, so, I thought it deserved a mention.
And by that, I mean Jolen said to me; "WRITE ME ON UR BLOG PLUX"
So there you go really.

http://www.xbox360achievements.org/achievements.php?gameID=144

For a list of all the Achievments in Gears Of War, click the link above.

~~Go on, you know you want to~~

Myspace of the week

2008-07-07T03:09:00.000-07:00

I'm starting this new thing up every Monday.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=54895048

P.s, [Not An Emo] ™ ?

I'd like feedback on this, What is an Emo?
I mean really.
Most interesting replys, If any, will be commically abused on this blog.

luke_otley@hotmail.co.uk

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The twisted mind of a 13 Year old.

2008-07-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

Whilst clearing out my School things today, I stumbled across a small notepad, which, on the front read, "Insult Book"
It's self explanatory really, I'll list what it says here.

"Cry myself into a coma"
"Duckweed"
"Your so ugly you nearly gave me cancer"
"Ahh Bolocks"
"Shitters"
"Dick Wad"
"You wonder why we hate you?"
"And you wonder why you arn't married?" (?!)
"And you wonder why you have no friends"
"See this is why we hate you"
"Eat animal flesh mutha fucka!" (Vegitarians only)
"I hate mo" (Mo only)
"Let me piss in your mouth"
"Moloch Juggins"
"Shut up you ugly c*nt" (Hugo and mo only)
"If you don't hate mo, you are mo"
"Shit face"
"Dan rich is such a dick f*cking c*nt wipe, I hate the c*ckhead so much" (Say whilst standing right next to him)
"I'm going to rip your genitals off and shove them down your throat!"
"You piece of chlamydia" (Hugo and Mo only)
"Mo did it"
"The day the world will be at peace is the day mo will die"
"Shut the f*ck up bastard brains"
"F*ck the c*nt off Ass wipe"
"I would insult your girlfriend, but your too ugly to have one" (Mo only)
"Give me the gun now"
"I'd rather eat a diseased chimp"
"Get back to your own country"
"Uncle Mo"

At the top it says "* If Mo uses any of the phrases in this book you have permission to kill him!"

I mean, its good to see where the magic, really began.

I mean, really.

2008-07-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Didn't want to fall behind on my blogging now did I?

Ended up round my ~~brother's~~ Elliots once again. We ended up down Tescos. 10 minutes and a cup o' bile later, we came out with a packet of cheese balls, which we chow down.
Interestingly, we watched a man be dragged into an ally by force, hobo style.

"Should we do something?"
"You can, go on then"
"Fuck that."

Walk into the distance and push to back of mind.
Didn't see Amy as planned, somewhat disappointedly.

Luk Wut I Fownd

2008-07-03T09:22:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/charlieissocoollike

This guy is f*cking brilliant, he's like Chris Crocker, except straight, funny, english and he doesn't cross dress.

Enjoy.

Amy Falmouth Braaap.

2008-07-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

I'll keep it short and sweet, because I have a headache and I'm hungry. Amy rings at approx 10:49 saying, unsurprisingly, that she has missed the train. Skip forward two hours and she finally arrives, her gleaming hair glinting in the sunlight.
"The water went off this morning, so I couldn't shower"
Well, at least that put us on an even playing service. She'd forgotten to bring Superbad too, which was disappointing, but hey, I love the girl, so I see what entertainment I can find at home. Lets skip another 4 hours ahead and its time for Amy Babes to go home. As an amusing side note, when i was trying to pull off Amy's bra, childishly mind, not erotically, my mother entered as it was hanging out of her sleeve. LOL. oh and another thing, our bathroom doesn't have a lock on it, so when Amy went to the restroom I burst in, not unlike a dick.
"Get out or I'll throw Tampons at you"
Amy doesn't stay for tea, because she hates my family with what can only be described as a passion.

Fun Fun Fun

Crumbly Ding 70

2008-07-03T01:56:00.001-07:00

Sweat.

2008-07-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

When the train pulled in we all knew it had started raining.
~~Luckily~~ Mark didn't show, so just Jebbet and Jack appeared. Our spirits weren't dampened for long though, as the clouds gave way to a bright ~~sweaty~~ sunny day. I feel the disappointment really began when me and Hugo stepped on our skateboards. Nevertheless, I did manage to fall off a large ledge to the point of ~~almost landing~~ almost broken bones, which was a high point. Before we knew it we were at Falmouth skatepark, greeted by the sight of a horde of bladers, which outskilled, numbered, and aged us. An hour or two there, then off to McDo, for McFlurries. At this point Jack realises he was supposed to be at home in less than an hour, with a distinct lack of trains. All to soon it was time to say our ~~tearful~~ goodbyes, and plans to skate at Penzance the following day scrapped. All in all, apart from the sweat, it was a pretty fun day.

I'm F*cking knackered though.

Gritty.

2008-07-02T01:20:00.000-07:00

Tom Ji, and his friends Jack and Mark whom I've never met properly before, are wildly catching a train to Falmouth today, expecting to be entertained. Well their in for a treat, because I can't skate, and they all bmx. "What the fuck does a BMX spot look like?" my brain screams as I travel Falmouth in my mind's eye.
This is going to be one thing, and one thing only.

Festive

Lonely, Lonely, Lonely.

2008-06-30T10:02:00.000-07:00

You know those days.........that just grind away at you like a piece of sandpaper?

Yeah, I just had one of those

He doesn't Give A Fuck

2008-06-29T09:49:00.001-07:00

Self Explanatory

All aboard, Direct to Bile Central.

2008-06-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, my old ass. I mean, come on. I sit here now, alone, with cuts on my knees and hands. The bottom of my trousers are soggy with what can only be described as stale vomit. I have my hat on, and my hood up. I avoid mirrors for fear of what i might see. Well, "Here comes the Pain" pretty much sums it up. Well, I'll just jot down a few interesting points from the night to give you an impression of what it was like. First off, Ben Speirs was there, much to my delight. I kissed him long before I'd drunk any liquor, lets put it that way. Oh, and even as I sit here, I remember jumping into a field of thistles. Well that explains where the cuts came from at least. "Oh, whats that ass music?" I remember thinking as I entered the abode. As I became steadily jollier, and bodies hit the floor, I can remember chanting for an encore. Oh, how my judgment was smeared. Not unlike, may I add, the boggy, marshy carpets, filled with what can only be accurately described as bodily fluids. I have a vague memory of an 11 year old boy, pestering me for beer/change, both of which I willfully gave to him. I think the only bathroom of the property deserves a mention here. I mean, come on lads, why not pile into the toilet in groups of four, and watch in horror as the bile rises up to neck height. Oh, and, it just wouldn't be a bile-a-thon if the police didn't turn up, hungry for the blood of underage drinkers. And blood they got, along with a fifty year old man that had arrived at the scene, which me and Elliot later colourfully described as "Creaky Pedo". He was ejected, but this didn't even seem to dent the old boy's morale, as he was back in within minutes, using a clever disguise of 'lack of hat'. I can quite vividly remeber me and Elliot sitting on shelves in a wardroab, and watching it creak and buckle under our weight. Not happy with the lack of splintered wood, we childishly bounced up and down, giggling, no less, till, with a sonic boom, the shelf dissapperated under ourselves. I could go on, with event after tear soaked event, of which i can remeber. But I won't, oh no, because I can already feel the hot white anger in my stomach fighting for political justice, I must return to the bathroom and caw at the wall, pleading for the clammy claws of the Grim reaper to come himself, and take me away from this surreal, living, hell.

Its a Rushed Job

2008-06-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

1:45 am. Two lonely boys, desperate for sleep/thrills. Crawl to their Icey premature graves, in not one, but two solid rounds of the weather game. Ooooh I can feel my extremities falling off already. Two boys, suppressing the gag reflex, chow down on an hourly plate of cold coma. Yours Assley,
Luke + Elliot
The Blogger Criminals.

Amy "Nick" Curnow

2008-06-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I know someone very Beautiful and special to me. I left it anonymous, so they wouldn't feel the hot bile rising in their throat, connected with thoughts about Me

Thursday

2008-06-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

This Morn, Hugo Jone's brother sat on my head to wake me up, which i thought was a nice touch. Apon waking, comes a lust for ~~Elliot~~ food which I don't have. Interesting side note, I haven't seen Elliot in like 2 days, which is odd.

Walk Joe to school, bleary eyed and desperate for deodorant. Among those who I'm missing include Ollie, who's bogged off to Australia for 3 months. I'm looking forward to heading to my father's house up in Essex in a few weeks. Fortunately this is around the same time the loved one is heading away, so minimal time is spent not seeing her. Had a good "Earn" session with Hugo later in the day, (This basically involves a Milk earn and a person with a skateboard, when/if the skateboarding person manages to Ollie over the earn, then the participating candidates will scream, "HE'S EARNED IT") So all in all, pretty festive. As for last night, me and Hugo ended up, much to our stomach's distaste, at a Kebab shop at 12:00 am.
Mmmm delicious.

Wednesday?

2008-06-25T07:56:00.002-07:00

I'm pretty confident it's Wednesday. Achieved basically nothing today, furtively tried to Increase RAM space on my computer but to no avail. Beautiful weather, no one to go out in it with. I remain indoors for most of the day.
I just love Summer Holidays Y'know

Amber

2008-06-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

I recently spoke to Amber, i think she deserves a mention

World Of Asscraft

2008-06-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

I've rather suddenly, and rationally, started to hate World Of Warcraft. I mean, its just so ass.
I'll give a quick review.
Well basically the game itself is made up of two sides from which you choose at the start of the game. You create a character, which you name, customize its looks, race, and side of allegiance. there are several classes to choose from in the game. These range from; Warrior, Druid, Priest, Shamen, Paladin, hunter, Mage, Warlock, Rogue. You name your character, and enter the world (of Warcraft). Now, as you have designed how your character looks, named it, and "level up" to become more powerful and unlock new items, this is where the game gets you. No, i'm not afraid to say it, you get attached to it. That's right, this bundle of pixels on a screen becomes a part of you if you play it enough, like a pet and/or friend. So you achieve more things the more time you put into the game, so, as an amature WoW'er you think nothing of spending a whole weekend staring away at a computer screen. Now I've been playing WoW on and off for about 1 year and 3 months. And it get repetitive. It has a hold over you. Let me explain. As you level up each time, you start a new level, one which requires more experience to level up. (Note: you receive experience from killing Monsters, or, "mobs", and completing quests) So, as you can imagine, by the time you get to the later levels in the game, you have to spend hours, and sometimes days of actual played time to achieve the "level up". Now this often becomes tedious. So what do you do? Go outside? Have fun elsewhere? 80% of the time no, because you think to yourself, "Come on lad, just 156000 more exp then i can use >Insert Item/spell here<" But I'd like all hardcore warcraft players to take a step back, and look at yourself. What are we all doing. When we do something on this game, we feel like we have actually achieved something. No! No you SIMPLY haven't because what is it? Pixels on a screen. Just because you have a level 70, (the highest level cap in the game so far) it doesn't mean any females/males will like you anymore, and it certainly doesn't mean your penis/breasts are going to get any bigger. In fact, quite the opposite. Ok, so you'd think this leveling business will get players down, so they won't waste their time/money anymore. Well, they thought of that, because when any character spends an amount of time logged out, or in an "Inn" you gain rest experience. This is basically a way to receive 200% of Exp of Mobs, so you level in half the time. "Great!" you think as you start to play again. But Pretty soon the rest has gone, but you carry on playing, seeing as you have become more powerful within the game. I mean that's sneaky Blizzard (Game developers), that's Reaaal sneaky doing that one. I mean, ok, fair enough, you could argue its a fun game. Fun enough to spend at least eight pounds ninety nine a month on? Sure, its not much, but why the hell are 10 million people around Europe doing this. Now the effects Warcraft has on people is the worse. I have seen, and have been part of, arguments over WoW, that are completely irrelevant, that have broken up friendships. Over shit all. For example:
"That spells shit"
"How is it, it does 469 Dot"
"Looks like Cold ass anyway"
"Fuck off, just because your Gf cheated on you"
Beafen is ignoring you

I recently participated in the taking of my GCSE's. Me and my close friends on WoW were like, "Yeah study leave! Woot! WoW all day, WoW all night!" And that's what we did. For what? We potentially failed exams that will effect the rest of our lives, for a game. Only now we realise, its far to late.
Well, I'm not one to make this an in-depth review, so those were a few of the many things i hate about World Of Warcraft. Sure its a good game, when taken in proportion, but because of the nature of the game, it is very hard to do so.
4/10

First Post, Tuesday

2008-06-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

Awoke, in fright from what i could have possibly done the night before, only to realise, somewhat disappointingly, that I spent the night at Elliot's. Without washing, I pay my thanks and leave, to meet Amy at the train station. On the way there I managed to be verbally abused by no less than five dashing young gentlemen. Sticks and stones I keep telling myself. I arrive at roughly the same time at Amy, she looks attractive as usual, I look, bemusing at best. We arrive in Falmouth, partly watch the decent, then Amy leaves. I'm left watching Top of the Pops 2.

Day Score 8/10